Work In Progress

Ok, just so we get this straight..I am a work in progress.

I told my husband today that I would start going to the gym tommorrow and start getting on the treadmill or the elliptical. We need to find a common interest so when he comes home on the weekends we have something that we can do together. Its really sad that we both dont like to shop.

He has been running for about six months now and has dropped a shit load of weight and is looking smokin! Me on the other hand is allergic to the gym, cant stand to run and likes to have a few beers at night to calm my nerves, oh yeah, and I smoke.
Its a match made in heaven I tell you.

I really want to get in shape. I really want to be able to run beside him and have my body not feel like its going to fall apart. It just seems like these kind of things come easy for him. Not easy like he doesnt have to work for it, but easy as in he sets his mind to something and follows through. Usually this lasts until he gets bored with it, and then hes on to something new. My problem is I think about it to much, and talk myself out of it. I think I am afraid of failure.

I fail at diets, I fail at long term workout sessions. Ive been to the gym at 5:45 and kept it up for about six weeks and then something happens...doesnt take much and Im back in my pajamas until ten o'clock.

I really need to do something. I think that it would help my mood and how my body feels, but ohhhh how I hate the gym. I take medication for anxiety and I really think that if I would get to the gym and work out my frustrations there and release some tension, I might be able stay off of them...that is a big goal, because I hate medication.

Soooo, I told my husband that next saturday I would walk/jog with him......and Im really going to try not to back out this time. It would be much easier if I could get up in the morning and not have to get into a freezing ass car..but I will try.
He might lap me a few times when we go, but I HAVE to go.

HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO....see Im talking myself into it.....Ill let you know how it goes...next Saturday...I suppose if I never bring this up again we will all know how this worked out. If I do mention it again Im sure it will include me complaining about something...like my back and my feet..

Ugh.....I am going to get up in the morning and go to the gym.....really....I mean it....ugh.