Sunday, February 22, 2009

An Old Friend

Old friends can be great, new friends can be great, but sometimes there is that one friend who steps into our lives and changes it forever. I think everyone needs a friend like this in their lives. One who blows in and changes sometimes the way you dress, you talk and how you think about yourself. This is only a good thing of course if your life needs a change.

Quite a few years ago I made my first out of state move with my husband and daughters to Overland Park, KS. We only had lived there a short time when my life was taken over (in a good way) by a bizarre first encounter with someone who would remain a close friend through another move out of state and a couple moves for her.

My first meeting with this soon to be good friend was at a neighborhood swimming pool that only a few of us in the neighborhood seemed to take advantage of. I remember sitting alongside the baby pool with my youngest daughter and seeing this tall, leggy, six pack, Italian woman walking toward me, in a bikini of course. I dont remember how the conversation started, all I remember is her telling me that I looked far too young and too in shape to be wearing this ugly one piece, cover your whole body up, prudy swimsuit! I dont think I even knew what to say. I remember knowing that she was the mother of my oldest daughters new friend and that she was the mother of four. I should have hated her on the spot for her body alone.

I think we started talking at the pool everyday, the husbands met, three of our four children were similar in ages and everything went from there. We went on vacations together (whole other story, those of you who know me well have heard the story of her husband Bill breaking his leg in Mexico literally 45 minutes after we arrived) She also took me bathing suit shopping, go figure.

She is also the one who was by my side after a awful cancer scare just a few short months after we met, who cleaned me up like only a mother would...and dried my tears when I thought I was going to have a hysterectomy at the age of 29.

She drew circles of chalk around our lawn chairs that we set up in the driveway and told the kids that they were not allowed within our circle until the dads got home (maybe not even then) She had me drinking rum and coke from a straw and ordering pizza for dinner on friday nights. She taught me I could still be a mom and sexy at the same time. I had my eyebrows waxed the first time with her and shopped without guilt.

Who doesnt need a friend like this? Weve been through job relocations, teens and tears and all of this through email and over the phone for the last eight years. I only spent a wonderful 18 months living near her, but I feel like I have known her forever.

I think everyone needs just one good friend who can recognize the needs that they will fill in your life. Who does this without asking for anything in return, who knows that even though you might not talk everyday that if you ever need anything they will be there. No questions asked.

Kim...yes I said your name, is the second sister in my life. She is an unconditional, always present not matter the distance, friend. She is the person who came into my life when I needed a strong friend to show me how to grow up without my family around me. She taught me things about being a mom and a few about being a wife. She taught me to put myself first sometimes in risk of losing myself.

That is the one lesson I think most of us have to relearn quite a few times over the years. I wish she was here, I wish she would force me out shopping and to lunch. I wish I could hear her yell at her kids and then give them a kiss. I liked looking up to her as a friend and wishing I could be more like her. Even though she is farther away, shes still in my life.

I just wanted to tell her what a impact she has had on me and to remind everyone that all it takes is one good friend sometimes. It doesnt always take a village......

1 comment:

  1. I could never write as well as you. But just know. You were and are as important to me as I was to you. As I rememeber it, I used your shoulder quite a bit over the years. Although we don't see each other as much as I would like, I know that you are there for me and you know I am there for you!!!TRUE FRIENDS!!! I really didn't do anything but enjoy your families company.That is easy to do when you find such great people. People who value the same things in life. YOU got ME through my days!
    Just makes me miss you and all those great times we had.. And reminds me of how lonely it is here as well.Your words were beautiful. And, yes, I cried:)

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