Ok, So I think I'm starting to piss my mother off (big surprise there!) She called yesterday while I was talking with a friend on the deck and I noticed from the caller ID that it was her. I was tempted not to pick it up......
No! this is not going to be a SAD story....please continue....
(Let me give you a little bit of background here..fast... When my sister got sick and put in the hospital, I got the phone call, the one you don't want to get, the "come home now" phone call.)
Soooo..I answered the phone "Who died?"...proceeded by "Is dad fine?"..followed by "Let me call you right back"....Ok...yes I'm tacky and crude.
Its crazy living so far away from your family. Its hard worrying about your parents health from miles away. Its scary sometimes to pick up the phone.
I realize as I'm getting older my mouth seems to be open more. The sensor has somehow been disconnected. I say what I mean more often because whats the point in beating around the bush. (yes, I know some of you would say this is not something new, Its just gotten worse..shit)
At some point it just seems like its much easier just to come right out and say what your thinking. The problem is that it takes us till we are in about our 40's to get the nerve to do this, and then we have to try to reign ourselves in a little so we just don't come across as "nasty old people"
Whats the point of being with your friend as shes trying on lets say, dresses, and she comes out looking like a giant puff ball. You get the "How does this look?" question. Well lets see, you can say "I don't really like the color"..which then she will say "But I love blue"...then you will say "It just doesn't seem to be the right style..etc...etc.."...When all you really want to say is "Your ass looks like the backside of a barn in it, take it off now!"...much easier, honest and saves a lot of time.
Oh the benefits of age. As Ive gotten older though, my mother has also. The deal is that the roles are starting to reverse a little. I'm sure she worries about my brothers and I all the time, but lately I feel like I'm worrying more about them. Their getting old!
I'm asking the questions about doctors and what kind of meds are being taken. I'm worrying when I don't get a phone call or sometimes if I do. I'm not into surprises anymore (except if its my birthday of course)...I want to know whats going on all the time and I want to know all the details (yes..see above comment..always been like this, just getting worse)
I want to know where my parents are at all times, what time they got in, who they were with etc. etc...
I want to speak my mind without giving a crap who I might offend....(maybe someday)
I want to feel mature yet not old.
I want to have control...but yet let someone else lead.
I want to be honest, yet not hurtful.
I want a little red light to light up my phone when there is going to be bad news on the other end.
I'm fighting this age thing. I want to feel mature and have the benefits of being "older" I just don't want to feel or look "OLD!"
Sassy!...that's what I want to be when I grow up. The sassy old lady!..the one who says what she thinks without sensor....I'm sure my kids will love this when they start having kids of there own down the road.
This is going to be great!...until they stick my ass in a nursing home!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Girlfriend To Girlfriend
The high school girls were just here.
They all came into my life many years ago, at different times and in some way changed my world. We tried make-up for the first time together, shared secrets about crushes and shared details about first kisses. We fought like crazy at certain times over the years, but luckily I cant remember any of them.
We came together as if no time had passed. And it was great! Nobody has really changed and that is what made it so nice and surprising. We have gotten married, or not!...some have had kids but nothing much has changed. The personalities are all still the same, the habits remain...even the annoying ones.
People asked me how it went and it was so easy to answer, sort of.
I thought about this, and you would think there would be a lot to discuss...our lives...our kids....the past. Funny thing was we didn't talk a lot about those things, we just laughed, a lot.
We fell back into the routine in high school...the funny one..the quiet one...the bossy one (I think we have all taken on that role) And it just worked.
In a sense this was comforting...even know I don't think that is the right word. It made me realize that in high school I made the right choices as to who my friends were. They were real, they were not phony....we were bitchy to each other...but all out of love. And we all seem to have remained pretty similar. Maybe we were the only ones who could put up with each other..hadn't thought of that.
Three of the four that came were bridesmaids in my wedding and still love me after having to wear the peach colored dresses I had them wear, so that says something about friendship.
I tell my girls that you only need a small circle of friends in high school and not to worry about being part of a larger crowd. Most the time when you leave school and go off to college you will have a hard time remembering the girls you so wanted to be friends with...and they wont remember you either.
Its those friends who tell you that what your wearing makes your ass look huge, its the one who tells you that your boyfriend is a jerk, its the one you call at two in the morning because the jerk broke up with you to go out with the girl whose ass looked better!.... those are the friends you keep, those are the friends you remember, those are the friends that after twenty years will jump in a car and drive eight hours to spend a few days with you.
They are the ones who show up at your parents house when your sister passes away with food and hugs even though you haven't seen or talked to them in years....those are friends.
Just wanted to let them all know how much their friendship means to me...their hugs...their smiles..their families...their laughs and their tears. Their is no better group of girls then the ones who you can grow old with, joke about gray hair with, make fun of flabby thighs with....and still not really see them as any older than sixteen.
Love to you all.
They all came into my life many years ago, at different times and in some way changed my world. We tried make-up for the first time together, shared secrets about crushes and shared details about first kisses. We fought like crazy at certain times over the years, but luckily I cant remember any of them.
We came together as if no time had passed. And it was great! Nobody has really changed and that is what made it so nice and surprising. We have gotten married, or not!...some have had kids but nothing much has changed. The personalities are all still the same, the habits remain...even the annoying ones.
People asked me how it went and it was so easy to answer, sort of.
I thought about this, and you would think there would be a lot to discuss...our lives...our kids....the past. Funny thing was we didn't talk a lot about those things, we just laughed, a lot.
We fell back into the routine in high school...the funny one..the quiet one...the bossy one (I think we have all taken on that role) And it just worked.
In a sense this was comforting...even know I don't think that is the right word. It made me realize that in high school I made the right choices as to who my friends were. They were real, they were not phony....we were bitchy to each other...but all out of love. And we all seem to have remained pretty similar. Maybe we were the only ones who could put up with each other..hadn't thought of that.
Three of the four that came were bridesmaids in my wedding and still love me after having to wear the peach colored dresses I had them wear, so that says something about friendship.
I tell my girls that you only need a small circle of friends in high school and not to worry about being part of a larger crowd. Most the time when you leave school and go off to college you will have a hard time remembering the girls you so wanted to be friends with...and they wont remember you either.
Its those friends who tell you that what your wearing makes your ass look huge, its the one who tells you that your boyfriend is a jerk, its the one you call at two in the morning because the jerk broke up with you to go out with the girl whose ass looked better!.... those are the friends you keep, those are the friends you remember, those are the friends that after twenty years will jump in a car and drive eight hours to spend a few days with you.
They are the ones who show up at your parents house when your sister passes away with food and hugs even though you haven't seen or talked to them in years....those are friends.
Just wanted to let them all know how much their friendship means to me...their hugs...their smiles..their families...their laughs and their tears. Their is no better group of girls then the ones who you can grow old with, joke about gray hair with, make fun of flabby thighs with....and still not really see them as any older than sixteen.
Love to you all.
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